1. |
Ceiling Rose
04:21
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We woke up early, expecting snow
Finding only familiar grey tones
of a place I said we'd settle and stay
I guess I got good at running away
We woke up early expecting
a sense of finality, or summation - clarity.
But it never reached me.
I find solace in the knowledge that you're sleeping
to the hum of traffic and your breathing machine.
Warm light bought us comfort,
and a glimpse of what could have been.
I grieved for you in tremors, not in waves,
like they say.
It's why my back aches.
If you're okay,
why do your hands shake?
I got tired of you crying wolf
I stare up at her ceiling rose, all alone.
She talks to me in her sleep and quietly she whispers
and tells me all the things
that could have been.
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2. |
Unkind
03:27
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I wake up in the dark,
After leaving you at empty bar
Just one more, try to ignore
the cracks they left in your architecture
Sometimes you inheret things you never asked for
The hue in your eyes resembles
An unkind mind
Find any excuse to stay indoors
Why is it your first instinct
Is always to hide
My thoughts fragment,
my memories deceive me constantly.
When I come home, I won't be the same
you will have aged.
This distance made us bitter, I'm afraid
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3. |
Bloodstains
04:27
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Blood stains when you wake up
They say it's bad luck
Winter hit me then it lingered
I think I still feel the chill
There's mould growing in the hall
I hope I get my deposit back in full
maybe I'll be punished for something I can't control.
I got older and further away
What's that ache?
Can you give it a name?
It's always talking to me about shame.
There's a part of myself asleep
If you could please offer me a reprieve,
I'll make sure to wash my hands of you before I leave.
Blood stains when you wake up
This is more than bad luck
Cut me open and stitch me back up.
I shed skin and say its over
I cradle my skin in warm water.
To a home that I can't hold
From an empty box on Parramatta Road
I warned you I was coming home.
You're a coward
I forgive you
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4. |
Eucalyptus
05:02
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Try to reconcile
the dissonance between
what I say and what I mean.
I say "I'll try to stay"
But I'm always looking to leave
Lace lungs through open windows
You build a home wherever you go
But when you left, you left an echo.
Now it's late afternoon
Now I am a long shadow
I said goodbye to summer,
naked somewhere in a river
that held the colours of eucalyptus
just like it held us.
I said goodbye to summer
with my body immersed in the water
that held the colours of eucalyptus just like it held us.
I know I said I would visit more, but I'm always halfway out the door.
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5. |
Into The Soil
05:31
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One of those days
Where everything looks the same
I can’t tell the difference between
Red and green
And could it be
That I’m about to bleed trees?
An expecting mother of plants
I want to put my hands
Into the soil
Into the earth.
Feel like a child,
Just not as bright eyed.
More I’m in over my head,
Out of my depth.
And I don’t like it
When I can’t see the bottom.
It makes me uncertain.
Your soft skin
These rough feet
I’m standing on concrete.
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6. |
Meteor
07:48
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I still recall what your mother said.
She spoke like broken glass,
Just like a wounded animal.
We snuck out to watch the meteor shower,
so young and scared to touch.
My skin unmarked by years of angry sun
and all the damage still left to be done.
I kept it locked up for so long,
now my thighs are made of steel
while my spine remains a loose stack of
river stones.
We snuck out to get a little bit closer
So eager and filled with want
You told me you felt followed by a darkness
you couldn't seem to shake.
It hunted your scent, like a pack of
wild dogs.
It called out your name through the trees so
desperately
I walked you home
I should have known.
Despite all my dreams of waking up early and having clean skin,
I'll still come home drunk and fall asleep in the bath again.
Despite all my fears that I'm holding on to the end of a fraying thread,
I know I'm gonna have to let go
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